What Families Wish They Knew Sooner About Hospice Care

Ask a hospice team member what families say most often once care begins, and the answer is almost always the same:

“We wish we’d called sooner."

One of the most common things families say they wish they’d known sooner is that hospice isn’t reserved for a loved one’s final days. It’s designed to support people and the families who love them, giving them more time to focus on what matters most.

Over nearly two decades of supporting people and their families, Angie Oujiri, director of hospice at Vivie, has heard that same reflection time and again. She’s learned that most families don’t need convincing that hospice is good care—they simply need someone to help them understand what hospice really is.

Hospice is about comfort, connection, and quality of life

Many families are surprised to learn that hospice isn’t about giving up hope. It’s about shifting the focus from treating their loved one’s illness to helping them live as comfortably and fully as possible.

Hospice care focuses on managing pain and symptoms so quality of life comes first. At Vivie, that means careful medication management, expert support for pain and other symptoms, and life-enriching services like Healing Touch—all centered around your loved one.

Another thing families often don’t realize is that hospice comes to your loved one. Whether they live in a private home or in an assisted living community, the hospice team brings compassionate care directly to them.

A "good day" is possible 

Angie describes hospice with a simple phrase.

“We offer a good day,” she says. “Your loved one is comfortable. Their symptoms are well controlled.”

That kind of expert symptom management makes it possible for families to focus less on managing symptoms and more on just being together.

A good day doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because a compassionate team works together to care for your loved one. That team includes nurses, personal care providers, social workers, and spiritual care professionals, each bringing their own expertise to support your loved one’s physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.

Depending on your loved one’s preferences, hospice care may also include services such as therapeutic music, pet therapy, companionship, or visits from a chaplain, all tailored to what’s most meaningful to them.

If your loved one lives in an assisted living community, hospice becomes another layer of support. The hospice team works alongside the caregivers who already know your loved one well, adding specialized expertise focused on easing symptoms and helping them make the most of each day.

Want to learn more about the hospice team? Read our blog, “Understanding the hospice care team and who is involved“ to understand who is on the team and how a support plan is tailored to each person.

Hospice supports families, too

Families are often surprised to discover that hospice is there for them, too.

If you’re caring for someone you love, you may be exhausted, overwhelmed, or unsure what to expect. Hospice teams help you understand what’s happening, create space to ask difficult questions, and offer guidance on medications and care plans.

“Sometimes people are afraid to start medications for comfort because they worry about what it means,” Angie says.

She remembers explaining a patient’s rising heart rate to her daughter this way: “This is what my heart rate looks like after a spin class. Your mom’s body has been in a spin class for two days. Let’s talk about what that means.”

Many families don’t realize that hospice support continues after a loved one passes away. Vivie’s bereavement team walks alongside families for up to 13 months, offering one-on-one support and resources tailored to different ages and needs. Angie has seen families find healing in unexpected ways during this time.

Learn more about the support Vivie provides during the grieving process “Healing, holding and hope: Walking families through grief.”

It's okay to ask sooner

One of the biggest reasons families wait to ask about hospice is because it’s often misunderstood. For many people, the word “hospice” brings fear before it brings facts.

“As a culture, we don’t have a healthy relationship with death and dying,” Angie says. “That discomfort, more than anything else, is what keeps families waiting.”

One of the biggest misconceptions Angie hears is that hospice is only for someone’s final days. In reality, hospice becomes an option when two medical professionals determine a person’s illness is consistent with a life expectancy of six months or less if the illness follows its expected course. That often means people can begin receiving hospice support much earlier than they realize.

Looking back, many families tell Angie they wish they’d started that conversation sooner, because they didn’t realize how much support hospice could provide.

You don't have to wait for a crisis

Even bringing up hospice can feel difficult. Many families worry that asking questions means giving up hope or making a decision before they’re ready.
Angie sees it differently.

“One of my dreams is to make this not scary,” she says. “The worst time to talk about hospice for the first time is when it’s needed.”

She encourages families to have conversations about their wishes long before a crisis—even during everyday moments, like around the dinner table.

You don’t need a diagnosis, a referral, or a decision to start the conversation. If you have questions, it’s okay to ask them. Vivie’s hospice team is here to listen, answer your questions, and help you understand what support could look like whenever you’re ready.

Learn more about Vivie’s hospice services or reach out with questions—even if you’re not ready to begin. We’re here to talk it through.

Angie Oujiri, director of hospice

As director of hospice at Vivie, Angie Oujiri supports the clinical and operational teams who care for hospice patients and their families, ensuring they have the resources they need to provide compassionate, high-quality care. She earned a Master's degree in Transformational Nurse Leadership from Augsburg University, and brings a leadership style grounded in authenticity, transparency, and collaboration.

Angie was drawn to health care by a desire to help people feel better and found her calling in hospice care, where she believes people need comfort and support the most. She finds the greatest fulfillment in watching her team care not only for the people they serve, but also for one another. Looking ahead, Angie is excited by the opportunities for collaboration across Vivie's continuum of care, creating seamless support for people throughout every stage of their journey.