The question families ask out loud: “Is it time for hospice?”
“Am I missing something?” “Am I doing enough?” And … "how do I keep my loved one comfortable without falling apart?”
If that’s you, take a breath. You’re not behind. You’re paying attention. And that matters.
Hospice isn’t something you have to decide in a single, overwhelming moment. It’s often most helpful when you begin talking about it early—before symptoms change quickly or a hospital stay forces rushed choices.
Starting the conversation sooner gives you time to understand options, ask questions, and make a plan that honors what matters most for your loved one and your family.
One of the reasons I care so deeply about hospice is because my own family experienced it. My grandfather was on hospice provided by Vivie, and I’ll never forget the way our team showed up for him—and for us. It wasn’t just about tasks. It was about feeling supported, cared for, and less afraid. It helped our family be present with him in a way that felt calmer and more peaceful.
Hospice is a specialized kind of care for someone who has a serious illness—and a medical professional believes they may be in the last six months of life. Its focus is comfort, dignity, and quality of life, rather than treatments meant to cure the illness.
In real life, that can look like this: you and your loved one may reach a point where the side effects and stress of further disease-directed treatment no longer feel worth it. Hospice doesn’t mean anyone is “giving up.” It means shifting the goal to relief, support, and making the most of the time ahead—together.
A few things you and your loved one may be relieved to learn:
One of the greatest gifts hospice can offer is helping a family feel less overwhelmed at the end of life.
When symptoms and uncertainty are managed with steady support, families can focus on what matters most—holding a hand, sharing love, being together. When our team is able to be present at the time of passing, families often tell us it changes the experience. It doesn’t take away grief, but it can bring comfort and peace.
Hospice care includes regular visits from a nurse who specializes in end-of-life care. Comfort, pain relief, and dignity are at the center of our approach. Depending on your loved one’s needs, hospice can also include support with daily physical care, guidance from a social worker, and added layers of comfort like therapeutic music, respite time for caregivers, and spiritual care—so your family feels held up, not alone.
An example of how our hospice care makes a difference: One of our therapeutic musicians was recently able to be with a client at the moment of passing. He sang to him—sitting at the bedside, playing guitar versions of favorite songs as he crossed over. It was a profound gift for the client, a comfort to the family, and something our team will carry with them, too. And it’s a powerful example of how hospice care can help ease fear, bring peace, and make space for meaning, without trying to take away the grief.
Many people don’t realize hospice support can continue for the family after a loved one dies. Bereavement support is part of our hospice service and it can continue for months after your loved one passes. In my experience, that follow-up matters—because grief doesn’t run on a schedule, and families shouldn’t feel like support disappears the moment a funeral is over.
Now that you have a clearer picture of what hospice is—and what it isn’t—it can help to know when hospice might be appropriate.
Hospice is typically considered when someone is living with a serious, life-limiting illness—such as advanced cancer, heart failure, COPD/lung disease, dementia/Alzheimer’s, kidney or liver disease, stroke/neurologic conditions, or other progressive illnesses—and their health is declining despite ongoing care.
Families often wait because each change feels “small.” But in the context of a serious medical condition, small changes can add up—and they can be a cue to get support sooner. Here are common signs it may be time to have a hospice conversation:
1) Repeat ER visits or hospital trips
If you’re seeing a pattern—crisis, ER, discharge, repeat—it may be time to ask, “What would more support look like at home?”
For someone living with a terminal illness, a meaningful change in daily tasks—like bathing, dressing, eating, getting to the bathroom, or moving safely around the house—can be a sign that more support is needed. If caregiving is starting to feel unsustainable for your family, it may be time to talk about hospice so your loved one can stay comfortable and you don’t have to carry on without support.
Falls can change confidence, mobility, and safety overnight. And they can change what a family can realistically manage alone.
This is one of the most commonly overlooked signs—because it can start quietly.
Families often say, “They’re not bouncing back like they used to.” And it can be hard to know what to do next. If you don’t have a scale at home, a good indicator might be if a loved one’s clothes appear far too large. Does the sweater your mom wears while reading in bed seem to swallow her now, when it was a good fit before? Maybe she has lost a dramatic amount of weight.
Our hospice team can help your family understand what’s happening and how to respond with compassion (and less fear).
If symptoms that were once manageable are becoming more frequent, intense, or unpredictable—despite medications or care—that’s an important change to notice. When comfort becomes harder to maintain and quality of life starts to slip, it may be time to talk about hospice support.
More daytime sleep, less engagement, and worsening memory loss behaviors can be part of a bigger transition. Even when it’s gradual, it’s still real.
This is often the one families try to minimize or explain—and it’s also the one that deserves the most tenderness. Caregiver burnout is real.
If helping with toileting, feeding, medications, or transfers is becoming unsustainable—or emotionally crushing—your well-being matters, too. A hospice social worker can help you name what’s happening, plan next steps, and talk through options, including respite support when available.
If you recognized two or more signs above, it may be helpful to talk with our hospice team now—so you can get the support you and your loved one deserve.
Guilt shows up in hospice conversations all the time. Families worry they’re “giving up,” or siblings disagree, or someone doesn’t even want to say the word hospice.
Hospice is not the absence of care. It’s the presence of a team. It's support for patients and their loved ones.
If you call and say, “I’m not sure,” we will understand. Our team member can come talk through what hospice is, what it isn’t, and what support could look like—without pressure.
We will also treat your loved one and your family as individuals: what does our patient need, how can the family be supported? For my family, this meant having a caregiver come in a few hours a week to help my grandfather with medication and personal care. It meant we could keep him at home for his last journey and we could assist him in having a gentle passing.
You don’t have to do this alone.
Hospice provided by Vivie is here to help you and your loved one feel grounded, supported, and cared for—today, tomorrow, and beyond.